Hiccups Pub Paceville- still the best burger you could ever have had...but luckily you still can have...

Since the dawn of time, mankind has been searching...searching for something more. Ever since the first homo-sapiens pushed a mammoth over a cliff; feasted on its widely dispersed remains and decided that it was a pretty good meal; we've been on the road to culinary improvement.

Much later a German, let's call him Helmut, fried up a bit of mince, slapped it between two buns and changed the course of history. Helmut didn't realise it at the time, but he had just invented the burger. But mankind wasn't satisfied with the burger. No, man is never satisfied. 

Since that day we have continued to improve, refine, enhance and augment. We have continued to experiment and explore, to add pickles and fried onions, to push the burger boundaries.

As most of my readers know I am fascinated about food but some days I feel like having some less sophisticated stuff and when it comes to burgers(especially if you do have a large appetite) The King Of Homemade healthy junk food and best value Super Mega Massive burger has to be The Hiccups Pub In Paceville.

We were three playing pool in Drayton’s Pub in Paceville, two were having a beer and as for me since I’m on the low-carb diet and I’m not a big fan of beer, my choice fell on the whites and I was sipping my favorite clear water Finlandia vodka with a dash of diet coke. Funnily enough, I changed the discussion about life and the joys of being single to food (as usual) 10.30 pm, Thursday night, Paceville, one could only find disgusting junk food and creepy, crappy, franchise shops open at this time of night. Both my friends are much younger so I ended boasting how life was much cheaper and better in my days around 15 years ago when I was so much younger and I was telling them how we could get a massive burger meal freshly made for Lm2.20 of the old Maltese lira (€ 5.15). A burger so big that the only way that could hold it horizontally was that the cook had to stick a kebab stick in the middle of the burger from top to bottom.

Could it be that we were hungry or the idea of such a mouthwatering meal, that made our stomach grumble? Without saying just on word to each other we promptly got up and left our seats, missioning on down to Church street (yes, much to K’s dismay we decided on walking. You can more easily hold to each other if you start to feel the effect of the alcohol and it was something that I didn't do in quite a while.)

On my way there I felt a little uneasy and it wasn’t the effect of the vodka but the idea that the place might have closed down (and when a particular dish gets painted so well in my mind that I start tasting it and then it is not available, I tend to become worse than a pregnant woman and her cravings) I was also kinda worried that the owner might have retired and the new one will let me down big time, especially since I was doing the recommendation. I didn’t want to feel like an idiot especially when it comes to food.

We found ourselves at the main entrance of Hiccups Pub: the owner is still the same, Charlie is his name, just looking a little older but apart from that nothing has changed except that the pub now boasts a larger TV set connected to a satellite receiver.

The place has a kooky, kinda haunted —if very deliberate—down-at-the-heels charm (right) that runs squarely at odds with its surroundings, namely those of fancy new designer restaurants that have popped up lately in Paceville (For the people my age, it has the atmosphere one could feel and smell and felt once one walked in the original Alley Bar in the early

ninety's, a place which nowaday's has not only lost it's the original unique concept where all people, in all ways of life could enjoy good music and some real drinks, but lately even its name, to a fashion magazine's name; what an utter shame)

                                                                               Charlie and the famous Pub

This little Pub is a touch difficult to find, tucked with only a small sign pointing the way. It's hardly ever empty. I recommend grabbing any open table right away if you're with someone who can hold it while you stand to order.

It's counter service, and there's no host to seat you or take names. While you stand in line, you can contemplate your order, but that won't take you long. The menu's simple: The SPECIAL: 2 large thick beef patties topped with any or all coleslaw, tomato, onion, 2 fried eggs and two slices of cheese and this is done twice so if you opt for the full fare that make your burger 20cm tall and since it is done freshly from scratch the owner who is also the cook, never denies any of your wishes and preferences (even if that means that you have to wait twenty minutes for your order to turn up), but believe me nothing beats the exciting feeling you get when you see Charlie coming out of the kitchen with this massive tower of food and he lands it on your table, with a massive portion of homely made fries and the lovely large basket with all the sauces and pickles that one could ask for to complement this succulent dish to one’s heart content.

As for the price, well, a Special burger as explained above 2 vodkas 1 diet coke and two beers turned out to be €12.83 and my friends bills were very similar, and as long as I hope it wasn’t a mistake I’ll be sitting more often in the little benches in this little pub shouting Ghamillu ohra special (one more special)

I couldn't think of anything Charlie could do to improve upon its formula, maybe as my friend suggested, fried onions instead being fresh but I believe that behind the curtain he runs a grade-A operation and even though the place looks shabby from outside, that most people would pay no attention to this place, let alone become customers, this pub is extremely clean inside, even if outside it looks like an abandoned haunted house. It still is the Hamburger’s heaven for me and the so ever impressed friends that enjoyed the experience too.

(Funnily enough, Charlie has a soft spot for anything haunted and while we were enjoying our meal the only thing showing on the main TV were haunted places and ghost stories: talking of the good old Alley, and the famous fog of smoke!)

the girlie/kids version, the chunky pub chippies and the basket of sauces, mayos and ketchup