EDEN (2025): A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER ON A DESERT ISLAND
If you’ve ever sat in traffic, fantasising about escaping modern life — the noise, the bills, the idiots on scooters — Eden is here to remind you exactly why that’s a stupid idea.
Ron Howard’s latest film, Eden, drops us on a sun-bleached island in the Galápagos, where a collection of 1920s Europeans decide civilisation is overrated. Their grand plan? Build a paradise free of rules, taxes, and presumably deodorant. What they actually build is a human zoo — complete with hunger, jealousy, and a slow descent into madness.
It’s Love Island, but with more sweat, fewer bikinis, and a shocking amount of teeth problems.
A CAST STRANDED IN STYLE
To be fair, the cast is exceptional. Jude Law scowls his way through the jungle like a man who’s just discovered his espresso machine doesn’t work on solar power. Ana de Armas, playing a seductive and unhinged baroness, slinks through the chaos with the confidence of someone who knows she’s the only one wearing silk. Sydney Sweeney, meanwhile, gives a performance so raw it makes childbirth look like a day at the spa — mainly because, in one scene, it actually is childbirth on a beach cave.
Daniel Brühl pops up, too, adding that unmistakable “I’m probably up to something” energy he’s made a career out of.
PARADISE? MORE LIKE PANDORA’S HOLIDAY PACKAGE
The island itself looks glorious. You can almost smell the sea salt and sunburn. But the paradise doesn’t last. Within half an hour, everyone’s arguing, rationing food, and plotting like reality TV contestants fighting over a single avocado.
Howard’s direction is polished, the cinematography stunning — it’s so good you’ll briefly forget you’re watching people slowly go insane because someone stole their bananas.
But somewhere in between all that beauty, the story begins to lose traction. It’s not quite sure whether it’s a psychological thriller, an historical drama, or an expensive lesson in why moving off-grid is best left to people with therapy sessions booked.
VERDICT
In the grand scheme of cinema, Eden sits squarely in the “good try” category. It’s ambitious, well-acted, occasionally brilliant — but often feels like watching a beautiful yacht drift in circles after the captain’s had too much rum.
Still, it’s far more interesting than half the plastic nonsense clogging cinemas these days. And if nothing else, it’s a reminder that no matter how bad your commute is, at least you’re not trying to survive on a remote island with Jude Law and no air-conditioning.
RATING: 6/10
Beautifully shot, superbly acted, but a bit like paradise itself — overrated once you move in.
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