Noggin’ the Keto Way: Creamy, Dreamy Christmas Bliss!

 Right then, it's Christmas. Time for tinsel, dodgy jumpers, and more festive cheer than your liver can handle. And what better way to embrace the season than with a homemade Keto Eggnog? It’s creamy, spicy, and deliciously boozy—if you add the good stuff, that is. Plus, it won’t make your trousers weep from all the carbs.

Here’s how to whip up a proper batch of this yuletide magic, my

style.

Ingredients

• 6 large egg yolks – because apparently, you can't make eggnog without eggs.
• 80 grams of golden monk fruit or erythritol – sweet, but keto-friendly, like the angel on top of your tree.
• 300 ml fresh cream – thick enough to make Santa skip a chimney or two.
• 400 ml unsweetened almond milk or coconut milk – posh milk for the carb-conscious.
• ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg – the spice equivalent of fairy dust.
• Pinch of sea salt – because salt makes everything better, even Christmas.
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract – real vanilla, not that synthetic nonsense.
• A good glug of rum, brandy, or bourbon – don’t hold back; it’s Christmas.
• Fresh whipped cream – for serving.
• Cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice – garnish like a Michelin chef or sprinkle with reckless abandon.

Instructions

Step 1: Egg Yolks and Sweetener

In a large mixing bowl, whisk the egg yolks with your sweetener of choice until they’re smoother than a well-oiled supercar.

Step 2: Heat the Milk and Cream

Heat the cream, almond milk, nutmeg, and salt in a saucepan over medium heat. Stir like you’re auditioning for “The Great British Bake Off” and bring it to a gentle simmer. Don’t boil it unless you want eggnog with the consistency of scrambled eggs.

Step 3: Temper the Eggs

This bit’s like trying to park a hypercar in a tight spot—tricky but worth it. Slowly pour the hot milk into the egg mixture while whisking constantly. The goal is silky smooth, not egg soup.

Step 4: Cook to Perfection

Pour everything back into the pan and cook over low heat. Stir until the mixture hits 160°F (that’s warm enough to kill off any lurking nasties but not hot enough to curdle).

Step 5: Add Flavour and Booze

Remove from heat, then stir in the vanilla extract and a generous splash of your chosen alcohol. Bourbon? Brandy? Rum? Why not all three?

Step 6: Chill Out

Strain the mixture through a sieve, pour it into a festive jar, and refrigerate overnight. Yes, overnight. Patience is a virtue.

Step 7: Garnish Like a Pro

Serve in glasses, top with whipped cream, and dust with cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice. Or, if you’re feeling extra posh, chuck a cinnamon stick in there.

Pro Tips

• Storage: Keep it in the fridge for up to three days (if it lasts that long).
• Dairy-Free Version: Use full-fat coconut milk instead of cream.
• Eggnog Latte: Heat it up and pour over a couple of espresso shots. Christmas morning is sorted.
• Extra Fancy: Whip the egg whites to soft peaks and fold them in before serving for a frothy finish.

Pour yourself a glass, sit back, and bask in the glow of the Christmas tree. Just don’t drink too much or you’ll end up carolling in the neighbor’s garden. Cheers! 🍸