Joker 2: A Trainwreck of Musical Madness That Even Lady Gaga Couldn't Salvage

 Right, let’s get this straight from the top: Joker 2 is an absolute car crash of a movie, and I’m not talking about the exhilarating, rubber-burning kind that leaves you on the edge of your seat. No, this is the kind of crash where you’re left wondering how it’s even possible that everyone involved thought it was a good idea. And not even Lady Gaga’s megawatt star power can save it from the flaming wreckage. In fact, she’s more like the poor sap who’s left holding the steering wheel as the whole thing spirals out of control.

Now, back in 2019—when the world hadn’t yet started its steep descent into apocalyptic chaos—Joker was a bona fide sensation. Whether you loved it or hated it (I personally thought it was bloody brilliant), you couldn’t deny its impact. Joaquin Phoenix nailed it as the mentally ill clown with a penchant for stand-up comedy and, well, murder. It raked in awards, made a billion at the box office, and had all the intellectuals clutching their pearls over whether it would turn your average cinema-goer into a homicidal maniac. Spoiler alert: It didn’t.

Fast forward five years and director Todd Phillips has decided to take the sequel in a whole new direction. And by new direction, I mean he’s turned it into a musical. Yes, you read that right—a bloody musical. Suddenly, Phoenix’s Arthur Fleck, our previously disturbed anti-hero, is prancing around like he’s auditioning for *Strictly Come Dancing*, and it’s about as awful as you can imagine. It’s the cinematic equivalent of someone strapping a piano to your back and telling you to swim the Channel. Long, slow, and utterly torturous.

But credit where it’s due, Phillips didn’t just lazily reheat the same old Joker soup. No, he’s thrown in Lady Gaga, of all people, as Harley Quinn, and has them belting out show tunes as if that’s what’s been missing from the Joker’s deranged escapades. You’ve got Gaga belting 1940s classics while Phoenix croaks his way through something that sounds more like bad karaoke than a sinister villain's ballad. It’s bold, I’ll give them that, but it’s also completely bananas. 

The film’s trying so hard to be edgy and avant-garde, but it ends up being like one of those overly ambitious soufflés on *MasterChef* that collapses in a soggy heap before your very eyes. And don't get me started on the plot, if you can even call it that. Arthur is still locked up in Arkham, going on trial for his murders, while outside the hospital, he’s somehow become a folk hero for a bunch of delusional clowns. Meanwhile, Gaga’s Quinn is obsessed with him, but not in the entertaining, fun way you’d hope. No, this is all delivered with the dramatic weight of an Oscar-bait film that’s taken itself far too seriously.

To make matters worse, this film dares to hammer its musical sequences over your head until you can’t take it anymore. They sing. Then they sing some more. And then, just when you think they’ve stopped, they sing again. The problem is, that the songs don’t lift the story or characters—they drag them down into the muck. Gaga can sing, obviously, but when she’s deliberately holding back to avoid outshining Phoenix’s pub-singer vocals, it’s just painful.

And let’s be clear: this is not a film for Joker fans, comic-book fans, or anyone who’s expecting a shred of action. There’s one pathetic car chase that fizzles out faster than a cheap firework, and the rest of the time we’re left pondering whether any of this is happening in reality or inside Arthur’s deluded mind. Two hours and twenty minutes of tedious mind games, with barely any forward momentum. It’s like sitting in traffic —sure, things are technically moving, but you’re still going nowhere.

In the end, Phillips closes the door on any hope of a third movie. Thank God. This isn’t so much a sequel as it is an overstuffed, indulgent fanfic that should’ve been scrapped before it even left the drawing board. If Joker 2 is supposed to be entertainment, I’d rather sit through one of those dreadful Christmas cracker jokes. At least then, I’d get a laugh.